New Brisbane

When I first discovered that there was a strip club around the corner from where I work, I thought this would be great - what better way to bond with workmates than Friday drinks at the local strip club? Not only that, but B Confidential in Spring Hill is also located right around the corner from where I live. And since pre-drinks inevitably starts at my downtown address, it was only a matter of time before someone suggested we head on down. And that’s just what we did.

B Confidential
445 Upper Edward Street
T: +61 7 383 21309
E: info@confidentialclub.com.au
W: www.bconfidential.com.au

Having checked the website out before we went down, we were informed that B Confidential was not going to be your average sleazy strip club affair - oh no indeed, for B Confidential strives to be a gentleman’s club of the highest calibre. Formerly the Catwalk Club, the club was transformed in mid 2008 by Gold Coast adult entertainment entrepreneur Lisa Boorer and was set to take over the burlesque scene in Brisbane with its classy interior, beautiful girls and superstar chef.

Greeted by a sumptuous foyer, the entrance to the club certainly radiates a feeling of luxury and we were suitably impressed - until we walked through the main doors and it all fell in a heap. With tacky tables and chairs in a small, cramped basement, B Confidential is definitely not the club that it seems to be from the outside.

Shown to a table of our very own, we quickly notice a few things about the club that just aren’t right. The first of these is how the low-ceiling impacts on the operation of the club. Not only is the stage not raised (a vital requirement of ANY strip club), but the pole itself is really small - which limits the girls’ ability to perform complex maneuvers and more often than not results in them being squished in a ball against the ceiling while they try to turn around without hitting their head on the ground.

The club also has very few mirrors on the walls, another staple for a decent strip club, as the punters sitting in chairs that don’t face the stage miss out otherwise. Now, this could be an intentional move to bring up the class level, but unfortunately all it results in is a great view of an ornate wall, which is really not why people go there.

The private dance area is also rather unusual. While seperated from the rest of the club, there is no sense of privacy within the area itself. Due to the way the seating is positioned (and the lack of curtain seperators), anyone getting a dance is looking towards all the other perves currently getting grinded on. Not only that, but I found it difficult to hear the music in there, which must make it really difficult for the girls to perform to.

Now, although a gentleman’s club is generally the last place that you’d want to eat food from, the novelty of eating while staring at naked female forms was enough to convince my friends and I that a meal was in order. Unfortunately, while the club opened with a gourmet menu featuring Wagyu steak burgers and other deluxe items, it’s quickly been replaced by what appears to be a quicker bistro menu - obviously to cater towards the Spring Hill business lunchtime clientele. While the food wasn’t bad, most of the items didn’t arrive as we expected them to - such as the chicken parmigiana which came out pre-sliced, with no cheese and a side of tomato salsa to dip in.

Now the last thing, the thing that really makes a gentleman’s club, is the quality of the girls that work there and this is really where we hoped B Confidential would pick up its game. Unfortunately, we really weren’t impressed in this area either. While the girls that stand at the door are generally pretty attractive, the girls on the inside of the club really benefit from the low lighting - and while I’m sure ‘plump’ girls cater to a certain demographic, that demographic does not include me… or any of my friends. Seriously, there were times when I thought the pole would be ripped from its moorings.

while I’m sure ‘plump’ girls cater to a certain demographic, that demographic does not include me…

So if you’re looking for a place to take your friend on his buck’s night, B Confidential is not it - it’s more of a place to meet up with your friends after work on Friday before heading into the city than a place to have a real party. And with clubs like Love & Rockets in Fortitude Valley opening up, there’s definitely other nearby options. On the other hand, if you’re after a lunchtime meal with the boys from the office in Spring Hill, go for it - the drinks are a little overpriced (even for a strip club), but the food’s not too bad.