Brisbane’s Worst Bar - X and Y Bar - Fortitude Valley
I’ve been really forgiving of some venues in Brisbane during my time as a reviewer. I always think to myself, “Well, maybe it was just this one time that I came here” and so try to look on the bright side. To find the silver lining. But there’s one bar in Brisbane which every time I go there, I have a really bad experience… and tonight was the last straw. That bar is the brand new X and Y Bar in Fortitude Valley - the bar that I nominate as the worst bar in Brisbane.
X&Y bar
648 Ann Street, Fortitude Valley
P: (07) 3257 1259
W: www.xandybar.com.au
X and Y Bar exists as a cramped, converted small shop front with a tacky industrial feel that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. The drinks are over-priced, even on a Thursday when everyone else in town is offering amazing specials, and the clientele is a mix of wannabe alternatives and drunken retards who seem to have been served countless drinks despite Responsible Service of Alcohol regulations. It’s the kind of bar that gives the Valley a bad name and which prompts people to propose things such as the 2am closing.
The first time I was at XnY Bar, I thought that it was a rather pleasant venue. I mean sure, it was more cramped than an Indonesian immigrant ship and the drinks were more expensive than my last trip to Monte Carlo, but I was giving them the benefit of the doubt since they were new in town. They had potential… unfortunately they let us all down.
The second time I visited, I was accosted by an aggressive, skin-head Irishman who claimed to know all the bouncers and who claimed he would have me “tossed out on the street” and “have my ass kicked”. All because I was there at 2am, talking to some of the only girls in a venue that is essentially a huge, aggressive cockfarm - not the kind of place you want to go to if you’re a girl, or if you’re a guy looking to meet some nice girls.
But tonight, I really was surprised. Hanging out with my flatmate and enjoying a few quiet drinks, I got talking to people as I am wont to do. I’m a people person. Making my way out to the dilapidated outside excuse for a lounge, I see a guy nut-shot another guy for no apparent reason. I comment on the unfairness of this to the group, only to be told that “it’s okay, because he’s just a glassy at our club” - apparently these were employees from The Family. Apparently touching each others’ nuts in a violent way is some kind of hazing ritual for Katarzyna Group employees.
Chatting away with the various members of that group, I suddenly feel a tickle on my leg. The same over-inebriated jerk-off who apparently is a manager at The Family just tried to nut punch me. Fortunately for him, I don’t believe in violent retaliation and instead chose to report this incident to the closest Firm Security representative of the night, Liam.
As I was reporting this incident, the supposed Family employee came up and said hello - obviously they were friends, and Liam chose this moment to conveniently excuse himself to some “front door incident”. When I asked if there would be any repercussions, I was told “not to tell him how to do his job”. Apparently security at XnY bar in Fortitude Valley accept physical violence in their club as an every night occurance.
So if you’re looking for an aggressive, mostly-male atmosphere in which to get fights picked and random acts of violence imposed upon you, I highly recommend XnY Bar in Fortitude Valley. On the other hand, if you find this kind of thing despicable, I say go to any other bar or club in Brisbane. Why waste your effort and time on such a lowly, try-hard establishment?
- Ross
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November 20th, 2009 @ 8:52 am
lol @ cockfarm
November 23rd, 2009 @ 5:59 pm
wow alot to take in that review, i’ve always thought x and y to be quaint not crowded but yah the drinks are over priced, i just like the council box chairs to be honest
December 16th, 2009 @ 4:08 pm
I go to X&Y a fair bit and I have seen some examples of what you’re saying but also had excellent nights there where there’s been no trouble, few douchebags and generally good times had by all. From what I can tell you’ve been there twice now? Your first visit was pleasant despite overpriced drinks (though they seem standard to me when compared to most other nightclubs in the Valley) but your second visit was dreadful. OK so how’s that different to any venue anywhere in the world? Nowhere can claim they have a perfect atmosphere filled with wonderful patrons and non-shitty staff every single day, so you can always expect to have a shit night out at one of your favourite bars at least once.
It’s ridiculous to start hatin’ on a venue because your 2nd visit was bad. If you’re 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th visits end up being the same then of course you have every reason to vow and declare to never go back and blog about it til your geats content. Until then, give the place another chance.
December 22nd, 2009 @ 5:07 pm
i was dancing here with a smile on my face and felt a push from behind… i turned around and got a deliberate elbow to the eye - i couldn’t go to work for 5 days because i would have scared the children… the bouncers responded well - but alas, the only security cameras they have are on the bar - not on the dance floor.
July 26th, 2010 @ 1:43 am
ha ha i see where your coming from when you say alternative wannabies but its one of the only places is brissy to hear some breaks so its ok
September 23rd, 2010 @ 6:45 pm
haha
played there once, really disorganised.
After this review i wont go back.
October 17th, 2010 @ 12:11 pm
Security is an issue. I was escorted out last night for being intoxicated - I had 2 beers with dinner about 3 hours earlier. I was sitting on a lounge waiting for the better half to return from the toilet when two bouncers told me to get out. I asked very nicely if I could wait for her to get back. NO. Two more bouncers arrive to escort me off the premises.
About an hour earlier some half-naked yahoo was trying to balance glasses on his head and I’M the one out of control. Go figure.
November 28th, 2010 @ 10:09 pm
We were let into the club, a female friend of ours behind us was rejected for being too intoxicated, fair enough, so we left and put her in a cab, lined up again to get back in, and a different security guard was on the door by then, and he told us we’d already been rejected so just leave. I asked politely, could he find the person that rejected us, because he’d obviously been misinformed. And he said straight away that the other guy was unavailable. Obviously, a complete lie. So we rang our friends who were still in there, they brought out the “manager” who is without doubt an arrogant arse, who said, we would have been let in if we just waited patiently, but because we mouthed off to the bouncer, we could piss off. I have never wanted to stab someone in the face more than that guy at that moment.
February 24th, 2011 @ 10:42 pm
I’m gunna be there saturday nite with a bunch of friends & ill see for myself what kind of bar it is.