New Brisbane

Birdee Num Nums.. a place I’ve been coming to since I first moved to Brisbane. A bar I thought was a nice place to meet people and to catch up with friends. A place I didn’t realise was the scummiest place in Brisbane - though really, the signs were there. Located in the heart of Fortitude Valley and run by the Katarzyna group, you really can’t have high expectations.

Birdee Num Nums
608 Ann Street
Fortitude Valley QLD 4006
P: (07) 3257 3644
W: www.birdeenumnum.com.au

Recently, following a friend’s party at Cloudland, I stopped by Birdee Num Num’s to catch up with a friend of mine who was upstairs in the new weird ass lounge room. As I walked in, a girl who I’d met at Cloudland grabbed me and asked where my friends were. Pointing at them, I walked over (followed by the random bar skank) and started dancing with my guy friend.. a little pretend bump-n-grind. Because we’re comfortable in our straightness.

Moments later, a security guard comes over and taps me on the shoulder. Apparently, I’d been touching girls inappropriately… a bit odd, since the only person I’d been even been dancing with was a guy friend… and there was certainly no touching.

Turns out, the girl who’d grabbed me (apparently Steph/Stef) seemed to not like that I had friends.. and apparently didn’t like that I chose to dance with one of them instead of her… and so she went back to one of her guy friends (Ben, apparently Katarzyna Senior Management), who she apparently seemed to be using for free drinks that night, who motioned a security guard over and next thing I know I’ve been told I’m inappropriately touching girls. Wtf?

I queried the bouncer on this and was told that “The manager” had told him to kick me out. When they brought down the Manager, “Big Will” (who declined to provide his last name), Will told me he had no idea what it was about, that he had ordered no such eviction, but that he’d find out. A short while later, Will returned to inform me that the girl who made the complaint was a staff member and indicated that while staff members didn’t normally drink at Birdees, an exception had been made in this case (presumably because of her relationship with Ben from Katarzyna). Clearly the girl had been allowed to drink a little too much. But still, her word apparently counts for more than mine - even though I asked Big Will to review the security footage.

So… moral of the story is - when you’re at Birdees and a female staff member is making advances towards you, don’t spurn her for the comapny of your friends. Or else you will be thrown out. Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn at Birdee Num Nums in Fortitude Valley.

- Dex