New Brisbane

Brisbane is a town that loves its steak. Cha Cha Char, The Norman Hotel and what was formerly Fiasco’s at The Morrison all serve up fantastic steaks - and I should know, I’ve tried them all! So when I kept hearing on the radio about a new steak restaurant opening up at the Normanby Hotel in Red Hill, I felt compelled to check it out. And with a name like Bovine, I knew I was going to get a top steak, particularly since they’re one of the only places in town serving Wagyu sirloin!

Bovine Restaurant
The Normanby Hotel
1 Musgrave Road
Red Hill QLD 4059
P: (07) 3831 3353
E: info@thenormanby.com.au
W: www.thenormanby.com.au

Showing up at the Normanby around 11:30 with a friend of mine, we were a bit disappointed to find out that the restaurant didn’t open for lunch until 12, so we grabbed a drink and had a catch up while we waited. As the clock struck noon, the doors to the restaurant opened and I was impressed to see what they’d done with the former gaming lounge at the Normanby Hotel. Completely renovated, I was now entering an open, well-lit dining room with a very modern feel. The tables were all exquisitely set awaiting the lunch service, the wood-panelled walls added warmth and the subtle cowprint were clever and tastefully done. The whole thing was a bit out of place in the suburbs, especially at The Normanby which is known best for its drunken Sunday crowds, but inner-city suburbs are great for steakhouses if the success of The Norman/Morrison are anything to go by.

Taking our seats, we got our first look at the menu. Entrees seem to consist solely of share platters, salad and seafood, so we avoided these and decided to just grab a serve of bread before our main meal. Served with olive oil, dukkah and salt flakes, the bread was a good way to kick-start our appetites for the steak feast ahead.

Now, the second thing that struck me about the menu at Bovine is that there’s really nothing ‘light’ on there. If you’re coming to Bovine, you’re coming to eat a big meal. To be fair, they have the Garden Grill restaurant in the beergarden just outside, which has an extensive range of lighter options, but I still would have expected something smaller in Bovine itself, in case somebody at your table isn’t up for a big meal. For example, if you’re out for dinner with the wife and she’s not a big eater, there’s probably not much on the menu for her. Bovine is clearly, and without question, a steakhouse.

And indeed, there was an excellent selection of top quality Australian steaks on offer, sourced from ranches in QLD, NSW and SA. But really, as impressive and delicious as their range of beef sounded, I was interested in only one steak - the Wagyu sirloin. You see, Wagyu beef is delicious, and after Aria Restaurant stopped serving their $110 sirloin (which I never got a chance to sample), the only wagyu I could find in Brisbane restaurants was rump. And while rump is a lesser cut, it’s still delicious when it comes from Wagyu cattle, and so I wanted to see what a Wagyu sirloin tasted like. My friend thought the same and so, boringly, we both had the same.

As it arrived, we were impressed with the presentation of the meal and felt compelled to take a photo. A perfectly criss-crossed steak, lemon cheek, potato salad and a cosy little spot for my sauce pourer. But the coolest thing on there was the full bulb of roasted garlic - this is something I’ve always wanted to try at home, but to get a full bulb like that in a restaurant kinda blew my mind. It’s a unique touch, for sure.

Wagyu Sirloin - Bovine Restaurant @ The Normanby Hotel

So, as delicious as it looked, the real test was in how it tasted - and I have to say, these were some pretty delicious steaks. They were a little undercooked (my medium-rare was too rare, my friend’s medium-well was too medium), which was a bit disappointing with such a fine piece of meat, but they were satisfying nonetheless. The sauces weren’t that great (my wild mushroom sauce had a total of 2 mushrooms in it, my friends diane sauce was gluggy and thick), but the steak spoke for itself and I was quite happy to use the roast garlic to really bring out its natural flavours. The potato salad was also quite tasty, but I couldn’t work out what the lemon cheek was doing on my plate. I much would have preferred a small piece of garlic bread à la The Morrison Steakhouse.

All up, Bovine is a very good steakhouse and I’d probably go there again if I found an occasion - perhaps if my father flies into town and we feel like a larger, more upmarket feed, where I could sample more of the menu items. The food is good, the service is top notch and the atmosphere was very nice also. But, when I compare it to some of the other steakhouses I’ve been to in Brisbane, it’s probably not my favourite.

- Ross

I was pretty excited a few months back when I first heard that Naughty By Nature were going to be at Good Vibes, along with a bunch of my other favourite old school hip hop groups, but then I got lazy and didn’t get tickets. So, I was even more excited to discover that my favourite hip hop group of all time would be doing another show, this time in Brisbane at Mystique in Fortitude Valley, and I knew I wasn’t going to waste this second chance.

Naughty By Nature
Wednesday, February 24 2010

Mystique @ The Arena
210 Brunswick Street
Fortitude Valley
www.mystiquebrisbane.com

You see, I grew up with my music taste being dictated by whatever would blare through the wall from my big brother’s stereo in the next room. And while I was raised in what was predominantly white suburbia in Canada, hip hop and rap always spoke to me. It wasn’t like I could relate to the glamour of the high life that was Cristal and Benjamin’s, or the rougher aspects of growing up in the ghetto or the projects - it was just simply the music. Hip hop, to me, has always been about the rythm, the beat and the wordcraft that goes into the lyrics. And among all the groups and artists out there, to me one stood out above the rest - and that was Naughty by Nature.

So when I found out they were going to be at Mystique, I had to go. Tickets were on sale at the Mystique Concept Store, at what I thought was a surprisingly reasonable price and so I made the arrangements and Wednesday Feb 24 saw me and my entourage heading down to the club ready for a night of awesomeness. Despite showing up fashionably late, there was still a pretty big line out front when we got there - apparently Naughty By Nature had stopped for some food - and we were forced to wait for the venue to open. But, it wasn’t long before the group arrived and the gates opened.

Once inside, the club was pretty empty and we were surprised by the lack of people - we had expected a huge turnout for Naughty By Nature! However, this seemed to be a temporary situation and as the supporting performers cycled through their acts, Mystique absolutely packed out. It seemed like everybody in town wanted to come see these guys live. As for the supporting acts, there was an awesomely diverse selection of performers, ranging from beatboxers to dance groups, all of which pieced together to psych us up for the main gig. Of worthy mention were the Australian/Kiwi group Beat Kamp, who put on a fantastic show despite a large part of their act being to insert their name into classic old school hip hop hits.

As Naughty By Nature finally took the stage with Hip Hop Hooray, the crowd went absolutely nuts. As the night went on, they continued to please and went through most of the hit tracks on their Nature’s Finest compilation album - although I was personally a little disappointed that they didn’t do 1,2,3, which is by far one of my favourite songs. I wasn’t too bothered though, because they performed enough of the other tracks I love that I was losing my shit like a 14 year old girl at a Jonas Brother’s concert.

Looking around the crowd, I was a bit surprised to see that most of the audience was pretty young. At one stage there were three girls in front of me that couldn’t have been much older than 18, and I laughed to notice that they barely danced during OPP but all whipped out their camera phones and went nuts when Naughty By Nature did a short cover of Men at Work’s Down Under.

In addition to doing their own songs, the group turned the event into an homage to old school hip hop and performed everything from House of Pain’s Jump Around to Tupac’s California. An interesting twist, but I guess they know that anyone who’s going to attend one of their concerts is probably going to appreciate some of these other classic hip hop tracks. And the crowd certainly responded.

So for someone like me, who loves hitting the clubs and having an awesome night out, but that doesn’t make it to too many concerts or gigs, this was an absolute treat. A gift, and I still can’t believe my favourite group came to Brisbane. My sister-in-law who lives in Canada can’t believe it either, and hates me for getting to go, so I made sure I tagged her on all my facebook photos and videos that I put up from the night! Naughty By nature? Awesome. Mystique at the Arena? Awesome venue for them to perform at.

- Ross

Meaning to get tickets for Good Vibrations, but never getting around to it, you have no idea how happy I am to hear that one of my favourite hip hop groups of all time is hanging around Brisbane for another few days to put on a show for Mystique @ The Arena. An awesome venue for an awesome group, I can’t wait.

Show kicks off at 7pm on Wednesday, February 24. Tickets are on sale at Moshtix or the Mystique Concept store for $35/45 (first/second release) or on the door on the night for $60. Limited VIP passes are also available that let you meet-n-greet the group and take a photo with them.

- Ross

Since moving to Queensland, I have constantly been amazed at the sheer beauty that this state has to offer. And with both Jetstar and VirginBlue frequently offering discounted flights up to Hamilton Island and the Whitsundays, I have a couple times taken a trip up there to check it out. Last time I went, I was forced to stay on the mainland, as island accomodation was just too expensive. But this time, I found possibly the best value way to stay (and party!) on an island in the Whitsundays - and that way was Adventure Island Whitsundays.

Adventure Island Whitsundays
Great Barrier Reef Lagoon,
Whitsundays, QLD, Australia

Phone: 1800 466 444
Fax: (07) 4946 9580
Email: reservations@koalaresort.com.au
Web: www.koalaadventureisland.com.au

Formerly South Molle Island, the island has recently rebranded as Adventure Island Whitsundays and focused its efforts at attracting the ‘traveler’ market, rather than the tourist market. What’s the difference, you ask? Well, tourists are people who want to rush through their holidays, doing a whirlwind tour and spending whatever they have to in order to to get what little distraction they can during their short breaks from their 60 hour workweeks.

Travelers, on the other hand, are those who delight in exploring new things and visiting fantastic places while realising you don’t have to spend a bundle to enjoy yourself. So whether you be a backpacker, sampling our wonderful state, or a Brisbanite that just loves exploring your own backyard, Adventure Island Whitsundays is a fantastic way to enjoy your stay in the Whitsundays and to experience some of the sheer awesomeness that is Queensland.

Nestled in the heart of the beautiful Whitsunday Island group, Adventure Island Whitsundays boasts several kilometres of beautiful tropical island (I should know! My nature loving hippy friends made me walk all over them!). With numerous breathtaking beaches, including some great snorkeling spots (we literally had rays popping up out of the sand in front of us!), some great views (Climb the mountain, it’s worth it!), abundant wildlife (nothing poisonous!) and a swag of adventure trails, there is plenty to appreciate about the island itself.

And it doesn’t end there! Despite being able to stay there from just $49 a night, the former luxury resort boasts all kinds of amenities, such as a 9-hole golf course, large pool and spa (including rock waterfall), well-equipped rooms, archery course (depending on safety instructor availability), onsite massage therapist, snorkel hire, jet ski hire, organised activities and more! Adventure Island Whitsundays literally has all the trappings of a luxury resort without the exhorbitant pricetag that usually accompanies it!

Being on an island, you’re of course limited in where you can eat or drink, but fortunatly, this island not only has a great value restaurant and cafe (with easily the best chicken parmagiana I’ve tasted in Australia!), but also the lively Discovery Bar. For those such as myself, who enjoy good drink and good company (with a bit of bad dancing thrown in), the Discovery Bar is the perfect place to chill out during these balmy tropical nights. Not only do the happy hours and other drink specials make it great value to drink in, but the regular stream of travelers from the mainland (that we noticed to be mainly young & fun UK backpackers) and nightly games ensure that fun is had by all.

With Cruise Whitsundays regularly stopping at the island, taking punters out to Knuckle Reef (where you can snorkle on the Great Barrier Reef) or out on Camira (their awesome one-day catamaran adventure!), there is also plenty of opportunity to explore the Whitsundays, which are truly majestic and beautiful. I highly recommend taking both trips, which (as mentioned in previous articles) you can get a discount on if you combine them.

So it sounds like this island was perfect. Well, it wasn’t. But when you can spend all day relaxing on the beach, snorkeling in the water, or knocking coconuts out of a tree to eat fresh (1 hour of bashing to open it, 5 minutes to eat it!), you forget about the rest and a few months later all you’re going to remember is that you had a fantastic time, with fantastic people in a beautiful, tropical island paradise. If you’re going to stay ANYWHERE in the Whitsundays, make sure it’s on Adventure Island Whitsundays.

- Ross

I’m always interested in trying something new. So when I was told about a friend’s birthday gathering taking place at Montezuma’s in Mt Gravatt, I was naturally very curious. Specialising in Mexican cuisine, Montezuma’s is fitted out just like a traditional Mexican Cantina - or at least what someone who’s never been to Mexico (like myself) might imagine one to be like. Usually when I go into a restaurant with very high expectations, those expectations are almost never met. This was not the case with Montezuma’s.

MT. GRAVATT
Cnr of Logan Rd & Lumley St
Mt. Gravatt 4122
P: 07 3349 9344
F: 07 3343 2150
E: tasteofmexico@optusnet.com.au
W: www.montezumas.com.au

Offering a diverse range of south-of-the-border meals, Montezuma’s is a restaurant that you can go to many times without ever getting bored with the menu. There were plenty of delicious drinks to choose from, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic and the meals were fairly well priced compared to how much was provided. For the first time in a long time, I have been so full from a meal in a restaurant that I couldn’t finish it all! Customers can choose to either sit inside, or enjoy the fresh air in the outside patio. Although it must be noted that Montezuma’s is fairly packed, so pre-booking is a must.

The service was above average, our waitress was more than happy to recommend a meal and give a more thorough description of certain items on the menu. Nowadays it’s hard to come by a place where you can ask an employee about a meal, and not only get a description of the meal, but also how it’s prepared and its origins. I opted for the most distinctive meal on the menu, the Mole Poblano (”Centuries old chicken dish invented by nuns of Puebla for the bishops visit, served with a spicy Aztec sauce, 32 herbs and spices, coconut, banana and pineapple”), which not only tasted great, but also had an interesting history behind it.

Like everything else in the venue, the music and decorations were traditionally Mexican. This added to the great feeling of being overseas in your own city, I certainly felt like I had walked into a Mexican Restaurant upon arriving. Montezuma’s was a positive change from some previous restaurants I have visited, which I found bland and nowhere near as interesting and positive as Montezuma’s. I can say with no regrets that I plan to go back here again in future.

The friendly atmosphere was inviting and encouraging. It also had a very “community-based” feel where customers can join a Montezuma’s Club, which offers a few different incentives for its members to come back again. By being a member of the Montezuma’s Birthday Club, you may come in for a complimentary main meal on your birthday. By being a Gold Card Club member, you can get a free meal by your sixth visit to Montezuma’s.

With Montezuma’s venues located in Queensland, New South Wales, South Australia and Victoria, it makes it easy to see why so many people love these restaurants. If you are looking to try some delicious Mexican meals but can’t quite afford to travel to Mexico for some, then Montezuma’s would be one of your next best options. The friendly atmosphere, great food and drinks, and the different membership incentives and competitions will make it difficult for you not to return to Montezuma’s after your first visit.

- Viktor

Rarely do I go out to eat on a Saturday night; but on the occasions when I do go out to a bar and grill style restaurant I expect it to really blow me away. The Beach House Bar & Grill does this, and more. Located within the Myer Centre, not only is The Beach House easy to spot, it is also an excellent all-around restaurant for many different reasons.

Beach Hour Bar & Grill
Shop 58, Level E
Myer Centre
Cnr Albert & Elizabeth Streets

P: (07) 300 300 17
F: (07) 300 300 37
E: cbd@beachhousebargrill.com
W: www.beachhousebargrill.com

So it’s Saturday night, and I’m out with some friends who have decided to go eat at The Beach House before our night out in the city. Like any good friend, I decided to join them.

The first thing I noticed when I entered the venue was its great atmosphere. Instead of a fast paced and hectic experience which I’ve had in many other Bars & Grills which I have visited, The Beach House had a laid back and relaxed vibe. This was the type of place where I could go not only to eat, but to really enjoy myself. At other places I would be encouraged to order, eat my meal and leave. At The Beach House I felt like I could really sit and have a pleasant conversation with my friends before, during and after the meal.

Another bonus was the live music which I was lucky enough to see. It added to the overall positive environment and made me feel glad just to be there. For anyone interested in going to The Beach House during a live music event, you can go to the official website (listed above) and check the “What’s on” calendar. Chances are there is something happening at a Beach House on any given night of the week.

This place is also great if you’re looking to go somewhere nice during the day for a lunch break, business meeting, or just to have a great meal in general. The menu offers a wide variety of meals which all look (and possibly taste) great. The bar offers nice drinks which you can buy to accompany your meal or while waiting for it. The staff were very friendly, inviting, and they contributed a great deal to the already pleasant and positive environment which The Beach House offered.

If you are looking for a place to kick back and relax while enjoying a delicious meal, then this is it. Personally I hope to check out the Beach House at Garden City someday soon to see how it compares to the one I visited in the Myer Centre. There are several Beach House locations which you can visit, and the address of each is located on their website. A great place to eat before hitting the city, perfect for functions or everyday meals; the beach house is definitely worth a visit.

- Viktor

My friends and I really look forward to the quarterly VIP parties at Love & Rockets, where the alcohol flows, the women swoon and the debauchery is unleashed. So, it was with great excitement and anticipation that we RSVP’ed to this quarter’s party at Love & Rockets’ Fortitude Valley location, which would see the launch of their brand new Level 2. Because surely the only way to make a great club even better is to make that club bigger (and to fill it with more naked women).

Love and Rockets

693 Ann St, Fortitude Valley
phone: +61 7 3252 2608
fax: +61 7 3252 4348
e-mail: valley@loveandrockets.tv
web: www.loveandrockets.tv

Now normally I give you a wonderfully vivid description of this club, telling you about the luxurious furnishings, decadent cocktails and tantalising entertainment, but I’m going to do something a little different this time. Don’t get me wrong - this club is still fantastic and still one of my highest rated bars in Brisbane, with Level 2 yet another fantastic step in the direction of “doing things right”. But, we had an adventure this night and it’s definitely worth repeating.

The night begins as myself and 6 friends assemble at our Valley pad for a little pregame - my entourage a little larger this time as one of my other friends had signed up for a free membership on the Love & Rockets website (now replaced by their Gold Card program!), and so he got his + 3 invite as well. After a few vodka redbulls, we headed on down to the club fashionably late enough to miss the line but without missing any of the fun.

Grabbing a champagne on the way in, I ascend with my crew to scope out the much-hyped and well-publicised Level 2 (have you seen the billboards all over town? I know I have). Unfortunately, Level 2 is packed out and, since I’m not important enough to get given my own booth (sadly I’m still barely a D-list celebrity in this town), we admire it briefly before heading back downstairs. Here we quickly stake out some prime real-estate in front of the stage and after a bit of interior design we have ourselves a nice u-shaped lounge area, feng shui friendly with a perfect view of going-ons in the club. At Love & Rockets, they make adult entertainment an artform and we we wanted to make sure we could take full advantage.

Soon after, we are visited by one of our friends that works at the club, who (like all the girls there) was looking quite hot in her evening gown - a devil in a red dress. Passing my champagne off to my faithful partner in crime, Joel, I have a quick little dance with her, impressing her with my faux-salsa spins and dips whilst earning the envy of every guy in the room. I guess it’s not the usual kind of dancing that goes on there. Taking my champagne back, my friend says 5 little words to me that will change the course of the night - “Why are you drinking champagne?”.

“It is not”, I explain, “that I am a big girl, but rather that my only other free options were beer and wine, and I am most certainly not a fan of either.”

“That’s all very well”, she replied, “except tonight’s bar tab covers basic spirits as well.”

It is with this revelation that I decide this girl is no devil in a red dress, but rather an angel in disguise, sent to save me from an evening of strawberry-scented bubbles. I promptly put down my champagne and locate the bar, where, using my patent-pending get-served-first techniques, I quickly find myself double-fisting a couple of vodka-oranges on the way back to my u-shaped haven, sporting a mischievous grin reminiscint of gin and vermouth. The kind of Cheshire Cat smile that only the words “open bar” can inspire.

Fast forward a little bit and Joel strikes up a conversation with a “petite strip-teaseuse”. Noticing the accent, I quickly strike up a conversation en français and lure her away from Joel to a comfortable seat on my lap. My french-teaching mother would be so proud that my twelve years of bilingual study have been put to such good use. I once again earn looks of envy from my friends nearby (including a death stare from Joel), but sadly it comes to an end when the girls are all called backstage for preparation of a special performance.

Later in the night, and still enjoying the benefits of Love and Rockets’ more than generous bartab, I make my way upstairs to see what’s going on up there - I’ve seen downstairs before and I was keen to see how well the new upstairs works. And it works quite well, with tiered booth seating leading down to the stage ensuring everyone gets a great view. Now, fortunately, I spied one of these booths was empty as I came upstairs and after 15-minutes-or-so of keeping an eye on this booth, I decide that it has been abandoned by its owner and that salvage rights apply.

Occupying the booth and texting my friends to let them know I’d found us a place to sit, we’re soon cosied up, enjoying the show on stage and just the general great atmosphere of the club. Suddenly, security arrives and informs us that this is not our booth and that the bottle of Johnny Walker my friends were drinking from was not theirs. “Guys,” I say, “salvage rights do NOT apply to the alcohol we did not buy”. After some quick talking and namedropping (which will probably see us uninvited from the next VIP party), we manage to keep the booth but the Johnny Walker is taken away. I’m completely fine with this, as the bastards weren’t sharing with me anyway (seriously guys, where are your manners?).

The night goes on and we continue to enjoy the entertainment on offer - I even got to see la petite strip-teaseuse up on stage towards the end of the night. However, as all good things do, the night finally had to come to an end. With a job to go to the next day, and a group of friends who wanted to bounce elsewhere, I decided my night at Love and Rockets in the Valley was over - an excellent night out, as always.

So if you’re keen to check out a Love and Rockets VIP party, make sure you hop along to their website, where you can sign up and became a member of their recently launched Gold Member Card program. In addition to party invites, you also get free entry for you and 4 mates for a whole year. Not to mention the high status and bro points you’ll get for being a card-carrying strip club VIP. For the best party in town, at the best strip club in town, it’s something worth checking out.

- Ross

Working downtown, we’re always looking for a good place to grab a sneaky pub lunch and after a case of food poisoning that I suspect was brought on by eating at the Spring Hill Tavern, I decided enough was enough. It was time to stop putting up with what was conveniently nearby and to find somewhere decent. Fortunately, my dad breezed through town the other week on one of his 3-day visits and, as old people are wont to do, he wanted to go on a boat cruise. Motoring along with touristy didgeridoo music playing from the boat’s loudspeaker, I spied a few restaurants underneath Sienna’s on the Eagle St Pier that I never knew existed, and so after our cruise, we went and grabbed a bite at the Boardwalk Bar & Bistro.

Boardwalk Bar + Bistro
Boardwalk Level, Riparian Plaza
71 Eagle Street, Brisbane QLD 4000
(07) 3221 0026
www.boardwalkbar.com.au

Hard pressed to find a truly good pub lunch in downtown Brisbane, I can honestly say I am glad that I went on that boat cruise, or I might never have found the Boardwalk Bar. Everything about this pub is truly amazing and I can’t think of a better place in all of Brisbane that I’d rather sneak off for a liquid lunch.

First of all, their location is fantastic. Perched on the edge of the Brisbane River, their riverside bench seating provides for awesome views of the Storey Bridge while you enjoy your favourite ice cold beverage. And with an open, vibrant atmosphere, Boardwalk is perfect for socialising with friends and office crew alike.

Now, for me, the single biggest determinite in what makes a great pub lunch, aside from having a good range of reasonably-priced beverages (which Boardwalk more than provide), is the quality of food. And again, Boardwalk doesn’t disappoint. With a broad, but uncomplicated menu that encompasses a selection of seafood, grill, pizza and salad options, it was easy to find something to enjoy. And if you’re not sure what to drink with your meal, the menu also has a handy suggestion for each of the grill/seafood dishes.

The service was fast and efficient and the staff were more than willing to share a smile or have a bit of a laugh. Unlike some inner-city bars, it seems that Boardwalk have made an effort to hire bubbly, friendly staff who love their job. And just quietly, the girls there were all pretty good looking, too! More importantly, our food was brought out quite quickly, served with a smile and was absolutely delicious.

I always try to visit a restaurant twice before I make up my mind, but this place sold me the first time I went there and I have been back several times since - even dragging my whole work crew down there one day. The food is consistently great and the atmosphere is always very laid back and relaxed, perfect for chilling out after a hard half-day of work! Check their website out for the daily specials too, my favourite is the 2-4-1 pasta/pizza on Tuesdays!

- Ross

Having noticed a mysterious doorway on Wickham Street without markings or signs several times on my way to the gym, I had assumed that it could only be a shady establishment of some sort. But, when I walked past one Saturday and saw a “Cocktail Happy Hour” sign, my curiosity was piqued and I made it a point to discover just what this place was. After some creative googling, I realised that this venue was, in fact, Garuva Restaurant & Bar - nothing shady at all, just Brisbane’s best kept secret restaurant and cocktail bar (that apparently everybody knew about except me!).

Garuva Restaurant & Bar
324 Wickham Street
Fortitude Valley
P: 07 3216 0124
W: www.garuva.com.au

After putting it off for months - never quite finding the right occassion to head down there - I decided to take some visiting friends from Perth there upon our return from our trip up to the Whitsundays. With happy hour ($11 cocktails!) every Friday & Saturday from 5:30-7pm, we made our way down early Friday evening to indulge in a few quiet drinks. Entering through the cavernous doorway, we were greeted by the hostess and promptly ushered through the tranquil forest of curtained-off tables (with snatches of conversations softly pattering on our ears) to the bar at the rear of the building.

Designed in a unique fashion, the bar at Garuva is the absolute definition of a cocktail “lounge” - with cushions, beanbags and a few low-lying tables strewn across the floor, it is the perfect place to lean back and relax with a drink. Though maybe not a place for those with artihritis, we quite enjoyed the difference in atmosphere, a sanctuary that was a lot more laid back, intimate and mellow than your average bustling Friday night bar.

The cocktail list, which I’d already seen & been impressed by on the website, was even more extensive and amazing in the bar, and we had quite a bit of difficulty choosing from the absolute bounty of great beverages on offer. The Garuva Tickle, the Royal Dori, Strawberry Daiquiri, Banana Paddle Pop, Cookies n Cream and many other fabulous concoctions all went down a treat and I think it was safe to say that the three of us made the most of the $11 happy hour. Combining their own recipes with a few classics, backed up by a bar staff who know what they’re about, I am officially saying here and now that Garuva makes the best cocktails in Brisbane.

Oh yeah. I went there.

Hungry, but knowing the frequency with which Garuva’s restaurant books out on Friday & Saturday nights, we had come down with the thought that we would just be having drinks there and find somewhere else to chow down. But, just in case, I’d asked them to let us know if a table came available around 7:15 and sure enough, right on the dot a waiter came over to tell us that a table was ready and we were led to our own curtained eating space.

Garuva makes the best cocktails in Brisbane

Eating at Garuva is as unique an experience as drinking at Garuva, with each individually curtained-off table featuring a low table and cushions to sit on. While we had a little bit of foot jostling under the table, we all managed to fit in and quite enjoyed the comfort and intimacy the seating arrangement offered us.

The dining menu is also exquisitely designed, with every dish on offer being priced at exactly $22 ($2 extra for rice) and featuring options in a wide range of meat, chicken, seafood and vegetarian meals. I tried the delicious Chinese Roast Beef (succulent slices of tender, flavour-filled beef), my hippy animal-loving friend got the Sweet-Potato and Bean curry (delicious despite the lack of meat) and her meat-loving brother got the Beef Baha (aka “heaven in a bowl”).

Now while the meals are served as “large entree size”, we were all so stuffed by the end of the meal that we could only look longingly at the dessert menu, imagining how wondrous it surely must be. But, as far as I’m concerned, this is a good thing, as it gives us an excuse to go back there again!

Like food? Like good cocktails? Go to Garuva. It’s really that simple.

- Ross

I’ve been really forgiving of some venues in Brisbane during my time as a reviewer. I always think to myself, “Well, maybe it was just this one time that I came here” and so try to look on the bright side. To find the silver lining. But there’s one bar in Brisbane which every time I go there, I have a really bad experience… and tonight was the last straw. That bar is the brand new X and Y Bar in Fortitude Valley - the bar that I nominate as the worst bar in Brisbane.

X&Y bar

648 Ann Street, Fortitude Valley
P: (07) 3257 1259
W: www.xandybar.com.au

X and Y Bar exists as a cramped, converted small shop front with a tacky industrial feel that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. The drinks are over-priced, even on a Thursday when everyone else in town is offering amazing specials, and the clientele is a mix of wannabe alternatives and drunken retards who seem to have been served countless drinks despite Responsible Service of Alcohol regulations. It’s the kind of bar that gives the Valley a bad name and which prompts people to propose things such as the 2am closing.

The first time I was at XnY Bar, I thought that it was a rather pleasant venue. I mean sure, it was more cramped than an Indonesian immigrant ship and the drinks were more expensive than my last trip to Monte Carlo, but I was giving them the benefit of the doubt since they were new in town. They had potential… unfortunately they let us all down.

The second time I visited, I was accosted by an aggressive, skin-head Irishman who claimed to know all the bouncers and who claimed he would have me “tossed out on the street” and “have my ass kicked”. All because I was there at 2am, talking to some of the only girls in a venue that is essentially a huge, aggressive cockfarm - not the kind of place you want to go to if you’re a girl, or if you’re a guy looking to meet some nice girls.

But tonight, I really was surprised. Hanging out with my flatmate and enjoying a few quiet drinks, I got talking to people as I am wont to do. I’m a people person. Making my way out to the dilapidated outside excuse for a lounge, I see a guy nut-shot another guy for no apparent reason. I comment on the unfairness of this to the group, only to be told that “it’s okay, because he’s just a glassy at our club” - apparently these were employees from The Family. Apparently touching each others’ nuts in a violent way is some kind of hazing ritual for Katarzyna Group employees.

Chatting away with the various members of that group, I suddenly feel a tickle on my leg. The same over-inebriated jerk-off who apparently is a manager at The Family just tried to nut punch me. Fortunately for him, I don’t believe in violent retaliation and instead chose to report this incident to the closest Firm Security representative of the night, Liam.

As I was reporting this incident, the supposed Family employee came up and said hello - obviously they were friends, and Liam chose this moment to conveniently excuse himself to some “front door incident”. When I asked if there would be any repercussions, I was told “not to tell him how to do his job”. Apparently security at XnY bar in Fortitude Valley accept physical violence in their club as an every night occurance.

So if you’re looking for an aggressive, mostly-male atmosphere in which to get fights picked and random acts of violence imposed upon you, I highly recommend XnY Bar in Fortitude Valley. On the other hand, if you find this kind of thing despicable, I say go to any other bar or club in Brisbane. Why waste your effort and time on such a lowly, try-hard establishment?

- Ross