New Brisbane

You know West End isn’t really that big. Okay, so it’s not that small either, but I always figured that, by now, I was rather familiar with the West End scene- in otherwords, I knew the ‘in’ places. This was a nice thought and it was well and true until I discovered Zomba Bar | Dining.

Zomba West End Brisbane
phone: 38440842
fax: 38448766

Mon 4pm-late / Tue closed / Wed 4pm-late/Thu+Fri 4pm-late
Sat-Sun 8.30am-late

Located across from the Noodle Box, and literally 200 metres down the road from The Lychee Lounge, Zomba has quite possibly the smallest street presence of any bar in West End. So small is the entrance that I have walked past it at least 100 times without even noticing it was there! Okay I’ll admit, we didn’t actually find the place by accident, we received an email from the manager of Zomba asking us if we had ever visited Zomba, and if not, we should come and check it out. How can you say no to that? We don’t generally get invited (nor do we expect it), mainly because our reviewing is based on solid personal experience as oppose to how much we got paid (that would be nice though), or how drunk we got on the ‘provided alcohol’. Nonetheless, this was a genuine invitation and given how much I love West End, there was no reason to even think twice about it.

Initially Our editor and I (I am not in that photo, so guys, please don’t email me asking for my number) went there on a Monday night just for coffee which turned into coffee, alcohol and dinner. Once we finally found the place, having walked past it at least twice, we made our way inside and sat on the seats facing the street. Although I am writing this review, Alice will probably add her take on Zomba to the end of this, so I will stick with my own opinion here. At first I thought, oh yeah, nice place, but it felt like it was half the size of The Lychee Lounge. After a little while, when the manager had arrived, he decided to show us around. Show us around? What does that mean, this is all there is? Right?

Wrong. Zomba is huge! As you walk past the bar, to your left is a hallway that leads to a whole new area. That was a surprise! Apparently, this is where West End caters for Brisbane’s celebrities, from Powderfinger to News Presenters and footy players, the list went on. But so what if Powderfinger eat there, does that mean you should? Yes! Not because Powderfinger ate there, but because the food is fantastic. We ordered 3 tappas and waited patiently as we admired the décor. Okay so it’s no Lychee Lounge, but then again you can actually sit down AND get up! You are not glued to your seat like at The Lychee Lounge.

Zomba has had a tainted reputation, the previous owners were involved in West End’s drug scene, but fortunately they left Zomba in the hands of it’s new German owner, who I am glad to say gives Zomba a great feel with an enthusiastic approach to management. While we discussed Zomba’s history, dinner arrived! Look at that! That’s what I thought. Damn! I was hoping it was going to taste as good as it looked. And my hopes came true! I had ordered something with Duck in it (yes I am not good with names), and it was fantastic. The other two tappas were great too, but I was quite impressed with the quickness, quality and presentation of the food.

I always tend to have breakfast in West End on Sundays, so I was more eager than ever to come back for Breakfast to Zomba, and thankfully, they are infact open on weekends for breakfast (from around 9am). So Zomba made it on the list of places to have breakfast in West End, given that the GunShop Cafe has decided that it no longer needs to be open on Weekends (apparently due to some chef problems), which is a big shame because they always had the most exciting breakfast menu.

Speaking of menus, Zomba seems to have about 3 of them, which made it a little confusing ordering things, not to mention that they didn’t have a coffee menu! (or at least one that I saw) That would be okay if zomba didn’t make any coffee, but as I found out some 30 minutes later, they made a fantastic mocha, again, check out the picture!

So maybe Powderfinger does come here, but as I asked before, would I recommend Zomba to all of our readers? I couldn’t say yes just by being there on a dead monday night. We had to come back on a busy night to see the place in action. So we did! We rocked up on Friday night in our quest to get a good feel of Zomba.

Friday night was different, Zomba had their DJ and the music was happening, plus there was a function out back which I wasn’t really sure about. Nevertheless, it wasn’t that busy, but thats not so fair on Zomba given that most places were quite that night. I was looking forward to hearing the music at Zomba and I have to say I was disappointed. The DJ was horrendous, he wasn’t mixing music, he was destroying it - beats weren’t matching, and he spent a more time SMSing his friends then actually mixing. Reminded me of the old GPO DJs back a few years ago. That aside, the bar they have in the back section was manned by competent staff that not only made fantastic cocktails but also actually smiled and even made jokes! Take note Uber.

All in all I have to say that Zomba was a great surprise. Out of no where, this little entrance leads you to an excellent venue. The best comparison I can make for Zomba, is Barsoma in the valley. Eventhough Barsoma is significantly larger, the staff are incredibly rude (to the point of throwing change back at you - yes, throwing).

But before I forget, I might as well list some of the things that annoyed me about Zomba, as I already mentioned the DJ spent the whole night destroying music. At one stage he played E Samba by JUNIOR JACK and as much I used to love this song, the DJ managed to somehow destroy the beat beyond all recognition. So lets put the poor DJ aside, maybe he was having a bad night, what else was annoying? Okay, so for some odd reasons they were playing an old James Bond movie on their projector screen. I am not sure if this was at the request of the group that had booked the back area or if it was just random. My suggestion? Bars don’t need movies projected onto walls. Furthermore, the sound system wasn’t the best, but thats not an issue cause the less you could hear the DJ the better. Apart from that (and I was just splitting hairs there) I loved the place!

My suggestion for West End lovers would be to check out Zomba next time you are there, I know its hard to leave the likes of Lychee Lounge, and god forbid, Uber, but Zomba is the perfect venue for a good night out with friends. You will most probably always find a seat and who knows you might even run into the likes of Powder Finger. The food was great too, I would highly recommend the place for a first date, make sure you sit out the back as the front area, although having the people watching benefit is noisy and homeless people do tend to stare at you as they walk past. So check it out and post your comments!

Alice’s Take:-

I must admit, we’re being pretty generous with our praise, seeing as we didn’t exactly take Zomba by surprise, nor storm for that matter. We also didn’t turn up on the busiest of nights- the kind where we were drawn down the street by the glitz, glamour and bright lights, ooohing and ahhhing at the scantily clad bodies wedged into the tiny front from like sardines in a tin; the kind where we entered with our mouths agape and eyes agog at the pure popularity of the ‘pumping’ party house. Instead we chose a Monday. The day when owners give their chefs the day off, and tend to do the same themselves. The day when most restaurants recline in darkened silence.

And so we decided to slouch on down to Zomba, check out the coffee, nibble on the tapas, and catch up on goss while wait-staff discreetly served us hand and foot. I must admit, we probably didn’t give Zomba the opportunity to shine as much as it has the potential to. I find restaurants usually prove their ’salt’ and ’sass’ when they are at their busiest (when the waiters become moving blurs and diners fill every chair in the room) but still provide seamless, smooth service and well-prepared meals.

Zomba was suffering the Monday night blues, in fact most of the West End drag was, and we turned up to give the place the critical eye. But we were pleasantly surprised. The manager was an affable kind of guy. And as Alborz noted, really enthusiastic about managing a bar/restaurant. Previously a chef (degustation was his specialty) in Germany, he’s owned Zomba since somewhere in 2005 and has “worked really hard” to move it away from its previous, ahhhh, reputation. He introduced himself and the restaurant, talked a little bit about the foodie/clubbing scene in Australian and Brisbane and then left us to our business.

I must admit, I was most impressed by this. He didn’t mollicoddle us, having encouraged us to visit, and didn’t try to sell us anything. We ordered drinks - a really raw House Red and probably Red Bull for Al (the default Alborz drink I use when I can’t remember what he was having). We sat in the window seats and watched West End in it’s early evening slumber, sipping (me quite tentatively) on my wine, chatting quietly, flinching as trucks occasionally zoomed by. A note on this point: it’s quite picturesque sitting in the cubby hole which is Zomba’s front room, but the noise from the street is sure to drown your conversation. The waiters, sensing this, sent us through to the back, down a narrow hall and then into a massive concreted backyard area which ballooned out from the building. It was like Zomba had suddenly turned into the Tardis! Ahhhhh, I thought to myself. Judging by 3 Monkeys and Jazzy Cat, I shouldn’t have been so surprised. Most restaurants and cafe’s in West End hide huge seating areas out back. I think that’s part of the their charm.
Anyway, we settled ourselves in the Zomba Tardis, almost alone but for the empty chairs marbled with candlelight. Nibbling on our zesty tapas, full of spicy flavours - more modern Australian than traditionally Spanish I think - withvlittle morsels of chicken, duck and this and that, I did have to agree with Al that the place would be perfect for a first date. Tasty food in a quiet setting with wait-staff all to yourself. Hidden away where you wouldn’t risk being discovered by acquaintances wandering by and striking up inconvenient conversation with you mid-meal - as does tend to happen in West End!

When it came to paying, I found the food to be a little pricey (around $10 and over for each dish)- especially for tapas- which also leads me to thinks it’s a little more Modern cuisine- rather than your good old oily potato croquets and stuffed olives for 5 Euro (ok, ok AU$7.50) a dish. They also had a desert menu and main meals which from where we were sitting looked pretty good on everyone else’s tables. But then again, most food does before you taste it!

Alborz and I returned to Zomba on a Friday night, in order to get a proper impression of the place with more clientele and maybe even some frenzied staff. However, we somehow managed to stumble into someone’s private function, where we were served plate after plate of dips and bread and skewered tidbits-most of which went untouched (everyone seemed to have their hands full with beers and cocktails). The function didn’t appear to be particularly well-attended. We ate to our heart’s content and snagged table’s with utmost ease. I don’t know whether it was the drinks i’d consumed across the road (venue unnamed!) and the atmosphere was cheerful and fancy-free. The house cocktail/s were also a vast improvement on the wine!

My say: Go, try it, take a date! When you finally get sick of those other West End venues, go to Zomba for a taste of something else. I’ll definitely go again. Apparently the breakfasts over the weekend are pretty booked, so that may be my next foray. Wonder if they serve those cocktails before lunch…

We had the Greek festival, and now we have the Italian festival. Obviously the Italians can’t have their festival in the same place as the Greeks! So they have it over in New Farm this Sunday (4th of June). I will be there from 4 to check out the food, atmosphere and vibe of the festival. From the organizers :

New Farm Park, Brisbane
Sunday June 4, 2006
10.30am - 7pm

Festitalia is an opportunity to share with all Australians the Italian love of life and how this is translated into fine food, wine, music, culture and the arts. The Festival will celebrate contemporary Italian life style and show how this has permeated the ambience, vitality and robustness of our Australian community. Italian culture, food and products have become exceptionally popular in Australia in recent years and Festitalia will be a promulgation of this trend.

As this is the first Festitalia event, based on a moderate forecast of similar events, we anticipate an attendance of 20,000 participants.

Festitalia

I’d be keen to know if 20,000 people actually show up, I mean its the first year this is going to happen and I found out by accident! If their website is anything togo by, the festival is going to be really crap, but hopefully it wont be and people actually show up! So help me spread the word. Should be good! See you there.

It seems customary that these reviews start with the words “Oh yes” so here I go. Oh yes The Chalk Hotel in Woolloongabba, the exciting new venue that seemingly appeared out of nowhere to make its mark on the Brisbane scene late last year. So there I found myself on Stanley Street after taking a wrong turn on return from spending a wild and eventful day in Ipswich [work purposes only I swear]. So why not go in and check out Chalk Hotel, it had seriously impressed me with its lavish layout and the amount of beautiful people it had managed to cram through its doors in the month after opening. But alas I soon had found it very hard to drag myself from my favourite Valley hangouts to make the trip all the way over to Woolloongabba. So is Chalk still going strong six months after opening? Well if Friday night is any indication the answer is no. However, if you’ve never been I’d recommend you give Chalk a chance at least once.

Chalk Hotel
735 Stanley Street, Woolloongabba.
Phone: 07 3896 6565
Fax: 07 3896 6566

Although, hardly being eye catching from the outside, once you enter the club you will immediately be impressed with the décor. Downstairs is Sticks Bar and Restaurant which features an impressively laid out bar to your right and restaurant tables too your left. Downstairs has a classier feel than upstairs and would be a great atmosphere to surround yourself in if it weren’t for all the TV screens which give it a commercial feel. I can understand why they’d want TV screens too make money on special sporting events such as Bledisloe, Origin and the World Cup but honestly if patrons want to watch TV then why don’t they stay at home. In my opinion going out is for socialising, meeting cool new people, having a few drinks and relaxing and enjoying good company. If you want to sit down and watch sport or music videos, unless it’s an important event like origin then just stay at home.

Anyway before I delve of onto a tangent lets get back to reviewing Chalk Hotel, television screens aside. Downstairs is simply very impressive and well laid out but what about upstairs? You walk upstairs and enter Stumps Steak and Pizza Bar, which is like going from Jade Buddha to Adrenaline Sports Bar. This is where you find the first fault with Chalk. It’s almost like they’ve tried to cater for as many different crowds as possible, rather than letting the venue it’s self attract the crowds to it’s uniqueness. The venue it’s self is stunning, hard to compare it with anything, maybe calling it the Regatta of the Southside would draw the closest description but it’s much nicer inside that the Regatta. Maybe it likens most to Transport Bar in Melbourne but if you haven’t been to Transport or Melbourne [god forbid] then you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about. Although the venue is stunning I find it hard to believe that someone can invest so much into a venue yet try and cut costs on things such as the sound system, the acoustics, the floors and various other things that make the venue a bit tacky. All that been said it’s still a state of the art venue and you will still be impressed, especially on entering Platform three which has an impressive inside & outside lounge area. On the other side is Dust which offers a pretty tradition style bar which mainly sells beer and spirits.

On Friday Night there was probably about 250 people there which isn’t much for a venue of this magnitude which could easily hold 1000. Most of those were in Dust or at Stumps Steak and Pizza bar. The crowd seemed to be a very City-type crowd with the bartenders mostly serving beer or spirits with the occasional cocktail or glass of Champagne. It’s not as strict dress code wise and some patrons looked like they were wearing stripe dress shirts that hadn’t left the closet since George Michael left WHAM. I wasn’t overly impressed with their wine list nor their cocktails thus was more than willing to accept my friends invitation to join them in the Valley. I thought that they seemed over staffed which was ironic because the bar staff were overly slow serving people and wasted a lot of time standing around. The staff didn’t seem that motivated unlike the glassies at the Fringe Bar who literally pick up your glasses 0.125 of a second after you finish your drink. The cool DJ’s downstairs blending house music seems to be gone, however I did think the drummer playing along with the DJ was a very cool touch.

So is Chalk Hotel worth a look? Definitely if you’ve never been and if you have been then it might be worth another try on a Saturday Night but it might be hard to get me out of that all too comfortable seat at the Sunbar. However, it’s great that the owners have put the time and money into constructing a first class venue that puts most venues in Australia to shame. Just a pity that the drinks, service and music don’t match that standard, well at least on Fridays.

With the Soccer World Cup starting on the 10th of June, and with Australia actually being in the world cup (finally), lots of Brisbane Venues have decided to join the feaver and give fans a chance to enjoy the excitement together.

I have been told that La Dolce Vita in Park Road (Milton) is staying open every single night for all the matches. The match timetable starts at 10:30pm, with the second match starting at 1:30am, and for the hardcore fans the last one is at 4:30am. So there are three time slots.

The Pavilion in West End might be Brisbane’s biggest waste of space, but at least its big and they have decided to show the world cup on their 3 Metre screen for the following matches and times :

The Pavilion

10/06/06

1:30 am - Germany vs Costa Rica
10:30pm - England vs Paraguay

11/06/06

1:30 am - Trinidad vs Sweeden
10:30pm - Serbia vs Netherlands
12/06/06

10:30 pm - Australian vs Japan
13/06/06

1:30 am - Korea vs Togo
14/06/06

10:30pm - Spain vs Ukraine

15/06/06

10:30pm - Ecuador vs Costa Rica

16/06/06

10:30pm - Argentina vs Serbia

17/06/06

1:30am - Netherlands vs Cote Divoire
10:30pm - Portugal vs Iran

18/06/06

1:30am - Czech Republic vs Ghana
10:30pm - Japan vs Croatia
19/06/06

10:30pm - Togo vs Switzerland

20/06/06

11:30pm - Ecuador vs Germany

21/06/06

11:30pm - Iran vs Angola

22/06/06

11:30pm - Czech Republic vs Italy

23/06/06

11:30pm - Ukraine vs Tunisia

25-28/06/06
12:30am - Round of 16 games
01-02/7/06
12:30am - Quarter Finals

05-06/07/06
4:30am - Semi Finals

09/07/06
4:30am - Third Place

10/07/06
3am - Grand Final

Incase you don’t want to stay up late and watch the games, across the road from The Pavilion, Uber has decided (in its continuing ‘try hard’ form) to cater to those not willing to sacrifice a few sick days.

Uber West End
From June 10th you’ll also be able to catch the FIFA world cup 2006 - we’ll be replaying the best game from the night before from 5pm every day!

Unfortunately, the Australian vs Japan match (the only one we have a hope of winning) is on the same night as Benny Benassi at The Family nightclub. Dammit! I already bought tickets.

I write this for those who are truly down for the cause. What is the cause you say? Well I write this for those who truly appreciate a good night out. What does a good night out entail? Exotic cocktails, an attractive, friendly crowd, great music and a venue that lets you relax and put your mind at ease. Now traditionally on a Sunday Night the masses have flocked to The Regatta to get their last taste of the freedom that the weekend offers before Monday rolls around again. However, after a meal in Newfarm with my girlfriend, a walk along the river, a trip on the city cat and you get the picture, I found myself going for a late night stroll in that serene and often eye opening strip that is Brunswick St Mall on a Sunday Night.

Now as you’d expect most of the Valley’s venues are pretty dead on a Sunday, enter ‘The Press Club’. Now for those of you who have never been to The Press Club or shock horror don’t even know where the Press Club is, it’s located between The Sunbar and The Empire and is part of the Empire Hotel.

The Press Club
339 Brunswick Street
Fortitude Valley, 4006
Tel: [07] 3852 1216

The Press Club is often consider by some as Brisbane’s best known bar & live music venue. In my opinion the best thing about Press Club isn’t the cocktails or the tranquil atmosphere but the fact that you can bank on it drawing a pretty decent crowd most nights of the week. Although, it is considered an Upmarket venue the Press Club attracts a diverse range of cliental that defines everything that is the Valley. You will get everything from Business executive types in Versace suits to punk rock cats with exotic piercings. The great thing is that the diverse range of people all go there for the same reason, the great atmosphere.

When walking past the Press Club you will immediately notice the black leather couches and a giant fan which symbolises the Press Club. Once past the bouncer you will go through the giant door which weighs a thousand tonnes and you will enter the dim lit, seductive aura that is the Press Club. You will make your way to the bar on the right which features some of the best cocktails in Brisbane I have had to date. If you are the designated driver for the night ask one of the bartenders to make you a mocktail that would suit your taste buds, or a cocktail to suit your taste buds if you are drinking. Or if you believe what you saw in those milk ads back in the day is true then order a glass of milk. The bar staff and service at the Press Club perhaps isn’t as first class as it was in the past but it’s still pretty good. The black leather couches are very comfortable indeed and perfect for a night out with a group of friends. The only issue is that the music tends to be a bit loud to talk to anyone more than about two people away from you when you’re in a booth. The music can be anything from house music, to latin music to rock music, to chill out type stuff depending on your night. If you or your friends have a particular preference it might pay to check on whats on which night beforehand.

Even though it’s a relatively upmarket venue, like the Sunbar drinks are reasonably priced. The bouncers and bar staff are generally very friendly and helpful especially if you are a regular guest there. However, if they don’t like you for some reason or you do something to piss them off they can become quiet unfriendly too say the least. You can generally get in there wearing most things as long as you don’t wear sneakers or the like or dress like a try hard. The bouncers might even let you straight in (when there is a small line) if you are friendly with them and are a regular there. The Press Club definately has an exclusive feel from the outside but don’t let that deceive you, most people there are very friendly, cool and interesting people.

Onto Sunday Night, as I walked along Brunswick St hoping to sample latin dancing at Alhambra which is just around the corner I couldn’t help but be drawn into the Press Club by the large crowd assembled and the funky music. There was a live local act who were more than competent at performing live. In the future I’ll get the name of the band but if you guys are reading this then you guys have a very cool and unique style. The band was an interesting mix of a drum kit, a Synthesiser, a guitar and some cool kind of distorted vocals. The crowd was lapping in up and rocking away to the music which was an interesting cross between rock, DUB and house music in my ‘musical‘ opinion.

The crowd was kicking and had a very good energy to it, and the venue was packed to the rafters. There is definately something very cool about having just one venue packed to the rafters with all the patrons having a great time. The crowd was as usual quiet diverse with a few of the quirky types that the valley seems to attract on a Sunday. A lot of the regulars on the Brisbane Clubbing scene were also in attendance. To give you some perspective The Press Club on a Friday or Saturday pales in comparision to what it’s like on a Sunday Night currently. In fact almost every bar in Brisbane on a Saturday night pales to what the Press Club is like on a Sunday Night. Great atmosphere, attractive crowds, great music and great cocktails. How long will it last, I don’t know, but over the past few weeks Press Club on a Sunday night has definately been one of the places to be. So while it’s still hot, I might suggest you give Press Club a chance on a Sunday Night it’s definately a good night out for all.

Ah yes, The Family. The pinnacle and the ultimate venue in Brisbane. Good way to start a review eh? Already calling it the best place in Brisbane… is it a title well deserved? Or am I just being overly bias in The Family’s favour? It’s really hard to say, I have been going there since they opened and I have seen them shape and form themselves into Brisbane’s most exciting nightclub with hard work and excellent management. To begin with, we can look at the sheer size of the Family: it is by far the biggest nightclub in Brisbane (I am sure that title can extend to QLD). Nevertheless, size doesn’t usually matter for most venues, just look at the Pavilion in West End for example, it is massive, yet - and yes you can quote me on this - it’s Brisbane’s Biggest Waste of Space. The Family on the other hand is one of Brisbane’s iconic venues, it is recommended to all by all and, for me personally, most Friday nights, I count down the minutes in anticipation. Just thinking about being there makes me excited, I can see the Family lights breaking through the smoke-filled dance floor, catching the green bright lasers in my hand as I wave through the air in synch with the DJ. The music slows, picks up, faster, faster, faster, and then explodes in classic Trance climax style. Ah, I want to be there now!

The Family Nightclub
8 McLachlan Street
Fortitude Valley, 4006

Tel: (07) 3852 5000
2000+ Capacity

Friday: 9pm-5am
Saturday: 9pm-5am
Sunday: 9pm-5am

Located on McLachlan Street, Fortitude Valley, you can easily make your way to the Family by foot from anywhere in the Valley. Around the corner from The Sunbar and further on from The Monastery; if it wasn’t for the long queue of Family-lovers that queue patiently in line, the Family can generally be well hidden. From the outside you tend to not notice that the little entrance, generally manned by 3-4 security guards and a door girl, leads inside to a massive venue. If you have never been, the building size can be a little deceiving; it is a lot bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside. Depending on the night, and the time, getting into the Family can take anywhere between 2 minutes and the greater part of an hour. On special nights when big acts are playing, the line can stretch all the way around the corner to The Sunbar, while during those easy nights when the resident DJs are playing, there may be no line at all (which is a shame because the resident DJs are fantastic).

The Family has always been host to the biggest names and best DJs that come to Brisbane, from DJ Tiesto to Deep Dish to Paul Van Dyk and the bi-annual Ministry of Sound Clubbers Guide / NRG tours plus specials like Gods Kitchen and very soon, Benny Benassi. No other venue in Brisbane can claim to have been host to such big acts. Of course these acts come at a price- for example Deep Dish being priced in at about $55, and Paul Van Dyk at $48. When you think about it, it is a fair amount of money to be paying to see a DJ spin records (even though PVD did all his music on two Laptops- but that really isn’t the point). Those not familiar to the scene find it amazing that people like me are willing to pay a huge amount of money to watch a DJ simply ‘replay’ songs. Unfortunately for those people, they are really missing the idea. If you don’t like Trance (Progressive and other), House or similar music, then the Family might seem alien to you. If you are not familiar with the music, then it might even be painful. Nonetheless, there is still hope for you!

Yes, there is lots of hope! Trance and house and most importantly, Electronic Dance Music (EDM) isn’t something that you simply like or dislike, I have gone from the horrible days of Punk Rock to Heavy Metal to Industrial to Techno and finally I have found my home in EDM and Trance. If you never listen to Trance/House by choice, then the Family can be a good experience, it all depends on you. If you are not willing to give the music a chance, it will render you deaf and its repetitive nature will drive you mad. So if you are new to the Family or if you are not a regular, next time you go, just try to appreciate the music. Given, it may be hard if you don’t know any of the songs, but rest assured no one knows all the songs that get played. In order to appreciate the music, the first rule is: DO NOT look for deeper meaning in the lyrics. Trance is definitely not lyrically based, sure Vocal Trance is my favourite type of Trance and it does have a lot of lyrics, but they don’t really have to make that much sense. There are a number of reasons for this. One- because its about the music, not the lyrics and, two, because most of Trance doesn’t come from English-speaking countries. Vocal Trance is very much European, with the majority coming from Germany and Holland. The main point here is that the music is only as good as you let it be.

Most people believe that with places like the Family, you can only really appreciate the atmosphere if you are on drugs. This is absolute rubbish! I can’t speak for everyone, but from my perspective, the music is all you need. If you let the music in, if you accept the music and take it for what it is, in other words, if you stop resisting the music, stop finding faults, stop actively not enjoying it, stop blocking it out, then it will fall in place. It is indeed a very hard feeling to explain, when the music is about to reach a climax and the DJ is really into it and the strobe light starts flashing fast enough to give you a seizure and you know it’s coming, it begins to build up… and then it all explodes! As a friend of mine puts it: It’s orgasmic!! Might sound stupid, but it’s a good way to describe it.

Anyway, enough about the actual music, let’s get back into talking about the venue. To put it simply and realistically, the Family Nightclub has a monopoly on the nightclub market in Brisbane. It’s true! Brisbane offers very few alternatives (prove me wrong!) that can match the Family’s overwhelming aura and atmosphere (not to mention the line up). Sure you have Uber, and sure you have.. whoops, had, The Monastery (closed from refurb at the moment) and hell, I’ll even put GPO (upstairs) on the list if you want. So let’s go through them. Uber? It’s actually kinda sad; when they first opened I wrote a rather favourable review of them, because they had so much potential. Good venue, change of scenery, and sort of the right idea! I was in Uber just over a week ago, and boy had things changed. The bar staff were almost as bad as Strike Bowling Bar in the city. They really didn’t care, took literally 10 mins to get service when there was hardly anyone waiting, not to mention the bad attitude. Yeah, sure it was just that bartender and he could have been having a bad day, but this is service we are talking about here, there should be no exceptions. Even if we ignore the service, Uber itself was just not happening. The visiting DJ was scratching the records like he was stuck in a time wrap back in 1996. The atmosphere was about as exciting as being stuck in a mine for 2 weeks (yeah sorry, I had to). So that’s Uber.

What about GPO? Well, to be honest, since the whole new Super Upstairs thing has started, I haven’t had a chance to go there on a busy night, I really tried last Saturday but the line was longer than an episode of neighbours and I hate waiting. Nonetheless friends who have gone, think very little of it. It’s just like it used to be, but with a bigger dance floor. Sure these days Baby Gee is at GPO but without the Family sound system and atmosphere, what’s the point? The thing is, no matter what these venues seem to do, no one has the credibility of being an actual nightclub like the Family does. The reason being, the Family was built to be a nightclub, GPO was built to be a bar. Uber, well, it’s a waste!

The service at the Family has never been one to rave about. From the moment you line up, the bouncers check you up and down and the door girl checks your ID and depending on your fashion sense they will let you in or kindly ask you to step out of the line while creating an elaborate excuse about why you can’t get in. Back in the days when the Family first opened, it was actually harder to get in. You had to look reasonably fashionable. The first time I ever went (over 3 years ago), I got rejected. Yes, I admit it. It hurts to admit it, but it’s true. No suits, Microfiber pants, etc allowed. It’s the Family, not The Sunbar. Semi-trendy jeans and smart casual shoes (no, Nike isn’t smart casual) plus a T-shirt bought in the last 10 years will most likely get you in these days. Why is that? Much like The Sunbar, the focus has changed from having that nice exclusive club/bar feel to having that overcrowded money-making feel to it. In other words, it has changed from

“Hey there, sorry but we can’t let you in with those shoes”

to

“That will be $15″

Can you blame them? It’s hard to say. Having all that market to exploit all by themselves can lead to a little bit of greed. I mean, if you reject your potential customers, they will just go somewhere else - mind you, GPO seems to have a stricter dress code than the Family. So you can’t really reject customers when they are going to pay entry fee. Back in the early days, there was no entry fees (cover charge) before 10pm, nowadays there is a smaller cover charge before 10pm and a higher one thereafter.

Cover Charge Range:

	Before 10pm	After 10pm
Min	$6*	$10*
Max	$15*	$65

*(up to $65 on touring DJ nights)

When you enter the Family, the first thing that you will (or should) realize is that upon waking the next morning, you are going to have ringing in your ears- which is generally more annoying than the sound of Eddie McGuire’s voice. Trust me. If you stay in and around the dance floor for more than 3-4 hours, you will have ringing in your ears. Don’t panic, it will go away (no comment on permanent damage given weekly exposure - I guess I can be the test study for that in 20 years time). The second thing you will notice is that the place is rather huge. From the main entrance you have a choice of walking upstairs to the “uncle” or downstairs to the “basement” alternatively, you can go straight to the “balcony”. Personally it’s always good to start at the balcony, check out who is actually playing, have a drink or so then head downstairs to the dance floor (basement). Early in the night, the dance floor usually includes 10 or so people dancing away in their own style. Lesson Number One, noone cares how you dance. If you are not a dancing person, it’s usually because you think others are judging you because you’re not the most talented dancer. Who cares?! Usually these others are the ones sitting on the seats feeling more insecure than Kim Beazley in a Speedo (oh the imagery) about themselves. Just get up and dance- no one cares!! It’s good fun, you will enjoy it. Lesson two, you can’t appreciate the Family if you don’t dance. I can’t stress this enough. I really can’t. Otherwise there really is no point, granted, the music is good, the atmosphere is awesome too, but you don’t go to the Family to sit down and have a Deep and Meaningful do you? No, you go there so you can dance like a dying bird on steroids… you get the point.

Drinks are expensive. A bottle of water is about $5.. yep. I know, you don’t have to tell me. You know what? Orange Juice is cheaper! Don’t worry about water, not only do you lose $5, but everyone will think you are on drugs. That brings me to one of the more down to earth problems facing the Family. Its reputation: it truly is the biggest and the best in Brisbane, but it also has that ‘drug scene’ reputation going for it. Is it true? To be honest it’s hard to say. These days its getting common for the Police to be in and around, only a month ago there was a massive raid with sniffer dogs and the whole lot. Lots of Ecstasy tablets were seized and a few people were arrested. Of course the media gobbled it up and again, the reputation sank further into its dark little corner. One should really make up their own mind about it. I have been going to The Family pretty much since they opened, and ever since then, I have generally always had a good time without the need for anything extra. As I said before, the problem seems to be that many people can’t appreciate the music without drugs, or that they feel that its part of the experience. Its not, there is no other way of putting it. It really isn’t. I am a big critic of drug use in the scene and there is no excuse for it. I am not going to go into it here. The reality is, yes, there are people at the Family who are on drugs, and yes the proportion might be higher than other venues, but at the end of the day, it’s not your problem. If you are there to enjoy your night, the Family is a great place to be; besides, most of those under the influence are usually super friendly. So it’s no big deal anyway. Temptation can be deadly and it’s not worth it. I have been asked for and offered drugs at The Family; this doesn’t happen anywhere else, so I suppose you can gather your own picture.

If you get past the reputation and concentrate more on the venue and the music, you will love the Family. With great local DJs like tyDi and (if I’m generous) Baby Gee. You will be sure to have good night anytime you go. Things to note. Friday night is the Trance night, with residents like Tydi Playing, while Saturday nights are more house and Sunday’s.. well, its Fluffy night. I will let you figure what fluffy night is the same way I had to

By the way, all these photos were taken by me, please don’t take them without asking first. Thanks.

Oh yes! Its here! I was in Sydney when Benny Benassi played at Summer Field Days (spelt correctly) down the Gold Coast at the beginning of the year. I was so devastated I missed him play (as well as Armin Van Buuren & Carl Cox)! The Satisfaction Italian DJ is playing at the Family NightClub on Saturday - 10th of June 2006. Tickets are $30 + booking fee, which will make them around $33. This is part of the Pacha Ibiza DJs and Dancers night for the Queen’s Birthday long weekend. Other DJs on the night include Serge Santiago from Belgium, Sarah Main (Ibiza) and Carl Kennedy from New York. As per usual The Family doesn’t say on their website when Benassi will actually start playing, but something tells me it will be around 1am or about then. Either way the night should be really cool! Here is some more info :

Benny Bennasi (Italy)
Serge Santiago (Belgium)
Sarah Main (Ibiza)
Carl Kennedy (New York)

Satuday 10th of June 2006

At The Family Nightclub
Tickets $30 + BF ($33)
From Rocking Horse records as well as Central Station and other usual outlets.

Benny Benassi Albums List :

• DJ Set 1 (2003), as DJ Benny Benassi
• Hypnotica (2003), as Benny Benassi presents The Biz
• Pumphonia (2004), as Benassi Bros
• Subliminal Session vol. VI (2004), as DJ Benny Benassi
• …Phobia (2005), as Benassi Bros
• Gallery Session (2005), as DJ Benny Benassi (With Tall Paul)
• Best Of (2005), as Benassi Bros
• Pump-kin phase 1 (2006), as DJ Benny Benassi
• Re-Sfaction 2 (2006), as Benny Benassi

Benny Benassi Singles List :

• “Somebody To Touch Me” (1995), as KMC (with Dhany, Davide Riva and Larry Pignagnoli)
• “Street Life” (1996), as KMC (with Dhany, Davide Riva and Larry Pignagnoli)
• “Stone Fox Chase/Funky Harmonica” (1998), as Benny B.
• “Life Is Life” (1998), as Benny Bee
• “Waiting For You” (1999), as Benny Bee (with Jennifer Bersola)
• “I Feel So Fine” (2001), as KMC (with Dhany, Davide Riva and Larry Pignagnoli)
• “Get Better” (2001), as KMC (with Sandy)
• “Satisfaction” (2002), as Benny Benassi presents The Biz (with Violeta and Paul French)
• “Able To Love” (2002), as Benny Benassi presents The Biz (with Violeta and Paul French)
• “Don’t Touch Too Much” (2002), as Benassi Bros (with Paul French)
• “No Matter What You Do” (2003), as Benny Benassi presents The Biz (with Violeta and Paul French)
• “Love Is Gonna Save Us” (2004), as Benny Benassi presents The Biz (with Violeta and Paul French)
• “I Love My Sex” (2003), as Benassi Bros (with Violeta)
• “Illusion” (2003), as Benassi Bros (with Sandy)
• “Rumenian”, as Benassi Bros (with Violeta)
• “Hit My Heart” (2004), as Benassi Bros (with Dhany)
• “Make Me Feel” (2004), as Benassi Bros (with Dhany)
• “Memory Of Love” (2004), as Benassi Bros (with Paul French)
• “I Want You To Come” (2004), as Bat67
• “Stop Go” (2005), as Benny Benassi presents The Biz (with Violeta and Paul French)
• “Who’s Knockin’” (2005), as FB (with Ferry Corsten and Edun)
• “Every Single Day” (2005), as Benassi Bros (with Dhany)
• “Rocket In The Sky” (2005), as Benassi Bros (with Dhany)
• “Who’s Your Daddy?” (2006), as Benny Benassi
• “Feel Alive” (2006), as Benny Benassi (with Sandy)

I can’t wait!

Roll up roll up!!Paniyiri Festival is drawing near!! (15 - 21 May, 2006) The BIG celebrations are at Musgrave Park from Sat 20 - Sun 21. You’re crazy not to come. It is SO much fun!

Brisbane Paniyiri Festival 2006
15 - 21 May 2006
Greek Club and Convention Centre & Musgrave Park, South Brisbane

Think: rowdy leg kicking and dizzy whirlwinding on the dance floor, fantastic food in endless amounts, ‘authentic‘ Greek wine and beer (of course!!!) , live music and the (requisite) sideshow shooting ally….

Festival Information From Organisers:

Come and see hellenic hospitality at its very best with the annual celebration of everything Greek in Brisbane. Everyone is invited to take part in the hugely popular weekend of food and dancing in Musgrave Park on Saturday 20 and Sunday 21 May. Plus there are a range of other events being held during the week.

The main weekend of entertainment is on Saturday 20 May 2:00pm – 9:30pm and Sunday 21 May 10:00am – 7.30pm.

Australia’s very own Greek goddess Effie returns to Brisbane for the event, hosting the popular Greek Dancing with the Stars. The Paniyiri Main Stage in Musgrave Park will host almost 20 hours of entertainment, including grape stomping, olive and honeypuff eating competitions, the famous Kapa Bros., Hellenic dancing, Ta Palikaria and of course Zorba Dancing. In Musgrave Park more than 30 food stalls will showcase the tastes, recipes and secrets of food from all regions of Greece.

On the Saturday evening an attempt will be made at the Guinness Book of World Records - Longest Zorba. Over 3000 participants are needed to take the crown. Will you be there?

Brisbane Buddha Birthday Festival 2006
South Bank Parklands
5 – 7 May 2006

I have a feeling I might be writing this a little too late… For those of you who didn’t go, or had NO IDEA it was on, take heed, put this grave mistake behind you and ensure you go next year!

Alice’s take :

The Brisbane Buddha Festival: Let’s start with a series of snapshots. An afternoon, hot enough to wet the underarms, yet fast cooling down. The memorable Southbank walkway framed by the succession of frond-like awnings unfurling above in static grace. Hundreds of bright red lanterns nestled among these balletic structures, glowing charmingly in the dusky evening sky.

Monkies effused in battery-powered light, smiling cheekily as they bounce on strings from children’s hands. The smell of fried batter, donation boxes picketing every corner, make a wish, hang it up, douse Buddha’s shoulder in YlangYlang-scented water, pledge good thoughts and do kind deeds. This is the Buddha Birthday Festival.

I arrived a little ahead of my friends and wandered aimlessly, smiling at stall owners, gazing at the lanterns hanging like ripe plums above the walkway. I dangled a finger across chimes, topped with intricate knots and gold trinkets, and paused briefly over the market-quality jewellery. I sifted my way through chokingly huge lumps of recycled clothing, shoving my hand into the centre of the mounds and blindly pulling out whatever i grabbed hold of… an Austen-Powers style dress with huge white buttons and thick white stripes in the kind of material that could start a blaze without a match. A vomitus yellow jumper with a harsh linted texture, pair after pair of narrow-hipped pants in white denim, nylon pink and pinstripe polyester - perfect for slim Asian figures, and perhaps an underdeveloped version of my teenage self.

So there were lots of interesting markets stalls, including the National Bank (silent question-mark here), crockery, mobilephone heebee-jeebee dooby wackers and Hello Kitty everywhere! But that’s just the side serving.

My friends and I really came for the food. I mean, honestly, festivals are really all about the food! I’m not going to Panyiri Festival (May 20 - 21) for the merry-go-round. I’m going to fast for days and then sample every food stall in sight. I’m going to have spanakopita oozing out my ears! But I digress. We made a satisfactory effort to look around, while containing our growling stomachs. We visited a few promotional stores, paid our respects to Buddha, knealing before the large golden statues and following the kindly ‘how-to-properly-say-happy-birthday’ instructions of the Buddhist nuns. Having done that we beelined for the Hare Krishna stall and gobbled down their kofta balls. Besides that we sampled the deep-fried tempura, the VEGIE fried chicken (could have fooled me!), the curry puffs, the samosas, even the steamed buns… each priced around $4 and under.

Dessert for our struggling stomachs were small rounded pancakes, poured into moulds the size of large Dolmio Sauce jar-tops, filled with red bean paste, chocolate, coconut and custard (*salivate salivate salivate*). This stall was so popular people were ordering ahead as sweat-sheened foodies diligently poured batter into the grill.

So a lot of the time you’ll find me down in the festival food garden, or admiring the local art and craft… which wasn’t as impressive as previous years… and you will never find me listening to the bor-ring speeches made by big wigs opening these events. However this time I did attend the opening ceremony…mostly I needed to sit down and digest. Surprisingly the speeches were minimal, but the performances that accompanied these…..WOW!

Not one adult was to be seen on stage, barely a highschooler could be seen. Most of these children were barely 15, according to my very basic age-analysis skills. They did some very colourful, and lengthy I might add, dragon dances, jumping around to the beat of the drums. The huge dragon heads bopping one way and another, their costumed legs (the only part of these little performers we could see) would kick up, sideways, out and in, feet flexed at a right angle to their perfectly straight legs. We watched entranced as they circled around one another, dipping and swerving in a ceaseless fluid motion.

But no sooner had this finished (and i’d snuck off for another round of vegetarian taste-testing) but the acrobats came out. Round after round appeared, some dressed in tight white (crotch-hugging) lycra bodysuits, others puffy satin shirts the colour of Barbie’s favourite pink handbag. They jumped over and around one another. On top of each other, flipping and flopping and coming to a rest upside on. I think the crowd was more exhausted than them! These kids were just amazing! For such a (seemingly) young age their agile little physiques carried out stunts of strength and balance that put Circus Oz to shame! Given, there were a few little mistakes here and there but that just added to the suspense!

Kids on unicycles threw bowls onto their heads where they balanced them and wheeled. Diablo-swinging troups practiced feats of throwing and catching, in near perfect sync in various formations. We watched a performer balance a pole on her feet which carried two girls, one sitting at either end. This performer then rotated the pole around on her feet and we watched the pole swing around on this girl’s tippy toes, while she nonchalantly rested her hands behind her head.

But the high point, the point of no return; the point at which I decided that nothing more could be done but to go home and get into bed, was the chair balancing. By my expert calculations I would age this child at 14. 14! He hops on a table and then proceeds to very carefully build himself a castle of chairs… Lets say 10 -12 chairs high. Each stack top to bottom, one atop the other. In the background blares a distractingly loud trance track… It distracted me..I don’t know how it didn’t distract him! This kid is now balancing well above us all, if he fell he’d go sailing into the blue yonder. The chair stack is trembling ever so slightly. The crowd is trembling in time with the chairs. The kid places his last chair diagonally across the stack and then proceeds to hoist himself up on one arm (my palms are sweaty just writing about it!) and balance high above us.. and no there were no trampolines below! He then performs a series of other acrobatic feats while we all sweat and gape in nervous wonder.

And then he proceeds to calmly climb down and chuck the chairs to his waiting team! Well that was it. The best free entertainment I’ve had since… Bar 55 in New York’s Greenwich Village when someone paid for my ticket to watch live jazz.

It was all over. I think I had mild indigestion and my eyes were so wide they were catching small insects. But that is enough to make me go again next year. And the year after that and the year after that. Mark my words! Change your ways and go!

Alborz’s take :

Personally, I have no big views on Buddha and Buddhism, I am not a very religious person, but as far as religions go, Buddhism isn’t the worst to pick. Nevertheless, the Buddha Festival had very little to actually do with Buddha as far as I could tell. I guess the main “attraction” was the lion dancing and the food, neigther of which really made my day. Apparently later on the night, there were some amazing acrobatic shows on (as alice mentioned), but I didn’t stay long enough to find out. The place was crowded with people wandering through the zillion little shops that were setup to sell the same thing. Lots of asian food, some excellent chocolate/coconut filled pancakes for $1 each but mostly lots of cheap shops selling fake merchandise. I never understood how shops can openly sell Fake merchandise ranging from Louise Vuitton handbangs to Diesel watches. This seems to be a growing trend everywhere you go now. Lots of fake merchandise being sold in public!

Nevertheless, for Southbank, it was one of the better events that has been on recently, the food was good (albeit expensive and with some wierd selections like Vegetarian Deep Friend Chicken? - vegetarian chicken? ), the people all generally seemed happy, and despite the fake merchandise, there were lots of little gimiky type gifts that you can only really ever find at these sorts of markets. The food wasn’t that great if you ask me, maybe I am just not the biggest fan of Asian food. What I really want to know, is what the heck the American Indians were doing singing at the festival? Maybe I need to refresh my knowledge of buddhism a little bit. The event seems to run yearly, but I am not that optimistic if I am going to bother next year.

There is so much choice in Brisbane now, there really is, from the city, valley, west end to pretty much every suburb I can think of, there exists one or two venues that you can spend a whole night at. Nevertheless, there is not so much good choice. The City is about as secure as your Job under the new IR laws and it is about as cultured as a tub of white yoghurt, and it only gets worse with places like The Victory still being in business. If you ask me, The Victory lowers human kind to a new form of sub-human species, rolling around the dirt drinking VB while eyeing anything that might (or might not) have legs is not my idea of a good night out. It makes me feel sick to even walk past that place let alone go in there (yes I have been there). There are some exceptions in the City, Jade Buddha (Shadow Lounge) and perhaps, if I am generous, the Port Office, can be worth your time. I shall leave The Valley alone, for it is my second home and just like an ugly kid, as its father, I shall have unconditional love for it. Sure it is ugly and it shares many of the City’s problems, but I blame that mostly on the City goers coming to the valley in mass. So that leaves us with one other central major location for the Brisbane Nightlife Scene, West End.

My friends, West End isn’t like the City, and it is not even anything close to the Valley. Being in West End makes you appreciate Brisbane just a little more, sure the homeless wonder and roam the streets begging for money, and the streets are filled with graffiti and posters, not to mention the smell, but all of this is what defines West End. Brisbane’s most Cultured Suburb. There are a few places in West End that started this trend towards West End’s modern day image of what I like to call the “new valley“. Apart from the many restaurants that have been there for years, The Three Monkeys and the Gunshop Cafe as well as The Pavilion (which although as I have mentioned earlier, is Brisbane’s Biggest Waste of Space), have been there longer than I have been in Brisbane. Nonetheless, there is one venue that really and utterly portrays modern west end in all its glory. The Lychee Lounge.

Lychee Lounge
Unit 2/ 92 Boundary St West End 4101
Phone: (07) 3846 0544

Located on Boundary street, across the road from the Pavilion and next to one of Brisbane’s better pizza shops (Slice), The Lychee Lounge has established itself as one of the more different places in Brisbane. With decor that could resemble a nightmare or a fantasy and an atmosphere that makes you relax and forget all your worries, the Lychee Lounge has become an instant favourite with the West End crowd and has drawn many from the Valley and the City to it’s doors. The venue is relatively small. Limited seating and space in general mixed in with an excellent reputation, can make the Lychee Lounge a little crowded on Friday and Saturday nights. Infact, if you are keen on the Lychee Lounge I would highly recommend going there on a weeknight first or if you can’t, going early on the weekend, say around 8pm on Friday or Saturday. You will miss a lot of the atmosphere of Lychee Lounge if you can’t find a seat. The seating is quite extravagant. At the very end of Lychee lounge, you are invited to a luxurious seating arrangement in your own little private area. A taste of middle eastern and Mediterranean decor does a lot for the Lychee Lounge. Making a booking is essential for large groups. The normal seats in and around the bar are very uncomfortable. Infact, they are horrible, but yet, they are elequont in their purpose. Low, small, and crammed seating arrangements will guarantee that you will be using a lot of table service at the Lychee Lounge.

The service at Lychee Lounge has always been one to remember and praise, with competent and friendly staff who don’t pester you every 35 seconds to order another drink, I can hardly find a fault! And that is saying a lot. The food at the Lychee Lounge has never been the best, perhaps one of the less attractive features of Lychee Lounge, the delay in actually getting your food is what usually annoys me, you could wait in excess of 40 minutes for your food if its busy, thats is simply just unacceptable. Nonetheless, it has gotten better over the last year, but the quality of the food still leaves a lot to be desired. Given West End’s unlimited choice of food, I would recommend a different venue for dinner, then a walk down to Lychee Lounge for cocktails and some much needed relaxation. The Cocktails are superb. Prices are on par with most other places with it comes to drinks and cocktails.

The music at Lychee Lounge can get a little annoying at times, especially if you are sitting right below the BOSE speakers. It can be too loud, or the music can simply not be happening for you. Sometimes there is a DJ, sometimes there is an iPod, and most of the time you can’t really tell (says a lot about their DJs), I suppose its all part of the atmosphere, with Barbie doll heads attached to lights hanging from the ceiling and a Dome that plays tricks on your ears if you sit directly underneath it, you should only expect the music to be a little different. After all, it is West End.

Seriously though, if you haven’t been to The Lychee Lounge in West End, get up and go there tonight. Just grab a few friends and head over there. During the week parking should be easy as you can usually find a parking outside the lychee lounge or across the road. Otherwise, you can always park at Coles parking (near Three Monkeys and Commonwealth Bank). If your going on the weekend, go early, otherwise you’ll be standing all night and that isn’t that much fun. It might be a little hard to find at first, but look for Slice and Subway, it is located between the two.